by Oren the Otter
©2003 Oren the Otter -- all rights reserved
Last week, I received an e-mail from a fictional character asking for some information on werewolves. It seemed to me that the young lady was a bit confused, so I thought it might be a good idea to take a look at her letter and answer some of her questions in this month's column.
I hope this letter reaches you soon. I think my life may be in danger. I suspect that my boyfriend is a werewolf, and that he is planning to eat me. I first became suspicious when I found him in the back yard eviscerating a large bird. It was a little alarming, but soon I came to accept his predatory habits as an endearing quirk. Same with his habit of running around naked on all fours. What really got me was when he attempted to eat my ear. Please advise.
Panicked in Pazooza
You have a really interesting name. Most parents wouldn't want
to name their children "Panicked", but I guess yours knew something,
because they seem to have gotten it right.
By the way, how deeply did he bite you?
That would have been the end of it, but just yesterday, I received a follow-up letter:
Yay! Fun fun! Swim swim, eat fish! Play play play, snuggle fuzzy boyfriend, eat more fish. Fun fun!
Chp-chp-wut-wut-hree (formerly known as "panicked")
I guess I'll never know.