[tsat home] [#31] [columns]
Celebrity Holidays
by Oren the Otter
©2003 Oren the Otter -- all rights reserved

Well, it's that time of year again. No, it's not time to make bubbles with our spit or to make the Fox censors cry. It's Christmas time! Time for singing carols and hanging up stockings and leaving a big plate of anchovies for Santa. Hey, you have your traditions, I have mine. Speaking of traditions, this installment of Otter's Ponderings, we'll be taking a look at the traditions of some of our favorite celebrities.

Queen Odette -- On the shores of Swan Lake, King Derek is treated to a sumptuous repast including all the customary trimmings. There's fruit salad, candied yams and mashed potatoes. The one exception is that Queen Odette refuses to have turkey. It hits a little too close to home.

Actaeon -- Every December 15th, Actaeon organizes a Christmas pageant put on by the Diana fan club. And every year nine of them argue over which one gets to play Rudolph.

Circe -- The witch of the north seas likes to celebrate the holidays with an enormous ham. Of course, Circe likes to celebrate every day with an enormous ham.

Sir Robin -- Every year, from November to January, the frog prince and his family take a trip to visit old family and friends. Holiday festivities trimming the cypress tree and going caroling in a one-crocodile open sleigh.

Beauty and the Beast -- Christmas wouldn't be complete in the castle of the Beast without a great big tree covered with servants who used to be Christmas tree ornaments.

Pinocchio -- Christmas is always grand when your father is the local toymaker. Of course, Pinocchio's wish list always includes the same thing: "Dad, make me a girlfriend!" And every year, the local children rush to Pleasure Island to see who gets to play the donkey in that year's manger scene.

Io -- Christmas at Io's place is always a big hit, featuring such yummy treats as homemade eggnog, homemade ice cream, homemade cheese and homemade pudding.

Kaseem -- Children in prince Kaseem's household look forward to the fun and exciting time when the monkey prince climbs up to the top of the tree to put the star on, then hangs around while his friends try vainly for three hours to get him down.

Henry Limpet -- Henry and Ladyfish like to go caroling to raise money for charities, such as the United Crayfish College Fund. Military industrial installations pay Limpet a great deal not to hit the low notes and activate their guided torpedoes.

King Midas -- You would think that in the castle of King Midas, there would be a golden Christmas tree, wouldn't you? Interestingly enough, that's not the case. Rather, it's an aluminum tree provided by Midas' younger brother, Prince Reynolds.

Dr. Jekyll -- Parties are always lively at the Jekyll household. Of course, in addition to a designated driver, there has to be someone whose job it is to make sure the doctor doesn't spike the punch. Then it would be a really wild party.

Oberon -- Of course we know how wild Oberon's parties can get. Every year, without fail, Oberon makes an ass out of himself. It's not that he behaves badly. He just likes to look good for Titania.

Oren Otter -- Hey, wait a minute... how did my name get on this list? Well, all right. Here's a brief description of how I spend my Christmas. On Christmas eve, I hang up an enormous stocking, being grateful for having enormous flippers. I make a big fruit salad from anything Tak hasn't eaten yet and retire to my burrow where Amanda and I spend the night poring over a looooooong book. On Christmas morning, approximately 12:01 AM, we run upstairs to open our presents. We then spend three hours waiting for everyone else to get up. When we finally realize that they're not getting up, we try our best to put the presents back in their boxes and practice acting surprised for when we open them again.

Here's hoping that your Christmas, whatever your way of celebrating, is merry and bright!

Oren the Otter, Ottercomics

[tsat home] [#31] [columns]