|
OTTER'S
PONDerings |
by Oren the Otter ©2004 Oren the Otter -- all rights reserved |
Well, it's that time again. Time for more ponderings. And since life is a horrible mix of misery and woe, I thought I'd do something appropriate. So here are:
THE 25 WORST THINGS ABOUT TRANSFORMATION
| 25: | That disgusting slurpy sound when your bones melt. |
| 24: | Trying to convince your friends that you're really you without letting the IRS catch on. |
| 23: | Waking up after a night of werewolf mayhem without your shoes and socks. |
| 22: | ...Or anything else. |
| 21: | Never being able to figure out which bathroom to use. |
| 20: | Finally realizing that the correct bathroom is a hydrant. |
| 19: | Becoming so young that you need someone to change your diapers. |
| 18: | Becoming old and having to change them yourself. |
| 17: | The embarrassing realization that you had more hair on your back as a man than you do as a dog. |
| 16: | Having to ask your sister for a bra. |
| 15: | Having to ask your brother for a bra. |
| 14: | Having to ask for several bras. |
| 13: | Having the uncontrollable libido that comes with many TG's... |
| 12: | ...especially when the TG wears off. |
| 11: | Discovering that you can't dial 911 with hooves. |
| 10: | Having to pay for the long-distance call you did dial. |
| 9: | Turning into a dog and having puppies. |
| 8: | Not turning into a dog and having puppies. |
| 7: | That nagging feeling that you just ate your best friend. |
| 6: | Realizing that you didn't eat your best friend and you still owe him money. |
| 5: | Finally figuring out that that isn't your tail. |
| 4: | Those few seconds after realizing that your particular species is flightless and the cliff is too far away to turn around. |
| 3: | Finding out that "GrrWoof arr bow bow woofgrr!" really does mean something, and that Dalmatian had a legitimate reason to bite you like that. |
| 2: | Not realizing that a smaller brain means a reduced capacity to... um... to uh... something. |
| 1: | Having to change back. |
Hmm. Gee. Looking back, those don't really seem to bad. Maybe life isn't all suffering and agony after all. And if it is, then you might as well enjoy it. Stay happy, everyone, and enjoy life. You'll never get out of it alive.
Oren the Otter, Ottercomics