by The Phantom Websurfer
©2004 Bard and Cubist -- all rights reserved
Remarkably enough, this year's US Presidential election will be the first to occur within Bard's and Long's tenure at the helm of TSAT. Accordingly, we've decided that it's about time to draw your attention to some political-type links. This is not so incongruous a match to the zine's primary focus as one might at first suppose; politicians are, after all, noted for transforming their positions and personalities at the drop of an opinion poll...
Yes, they are better than you
You haven't heard of Landover Baptist Church? For shame! The good folk of Landover Baptist are the only true Christians on Earth, for they believe in all of the Bible (the 1611 King James Version, to be precise). And yes, that includes the uncomfortable bits -- the entire book of Leviticus, for example -- which liberal backsliders would prefer to quietly ignore.
In keeping with 2 Corinthians 6:14-17, unbelievers are not welcome at Landover Baptist. The Church's organization and authority are exercised in full and complete compliance with Romans 13. Landover Baptist is definitely not a church for lukewarm 'cafeteria Christians'; it demands of its members total commitment on a scale no wishy-washy Catholic could even imagine. Even so, isn't eternal life worth a few trivial mortal concessions?
If you are unsaved, you need not browse Landover Baptist.
Bush's missing years: Found!
President Bush has gotten more than a little flack for his determined silence when it comes to questions of what the heck he really did during the time he was supposed to be serving in the Air National Guard. Which begs the question: Why hasn't Bush talked about that period of his life? Whatever else he may be, Bush is politically skilled enough to know that not talking about it can only hurt him... so what's going on?
The magazine GQ investigated, and Jesus Haploid Christ, did they ever solve the mystery! According to GQ's findings, which appear in its current issue, Bush spent his 'missing time' in clandestine service to the United States. Bush's assignments were many and varied, and in the course of discharging these duties, he performed a simply amazing assortment of feats. Whether it was learning Arabic, achieving a mastery of disguise which included highly realistic fursuits, driving Viet Cong leaders to the bargaining table by harassing them with fratboy-style pranks, or going undercover as a roadie for the Rolling Stones (in which capacity he inflated an oversized plastic penis, one of the Stones' stage props), Bush was equal to the task. Clearly, President Bush is a man of many parts, and the article in which these facts were revealed is one we cannot recommend highly or strongly enough.
If you can't find a copy at a newsstand in your vicinity, you can at least read it at the GQ website.
If you know of any sites whose subject matter renders them suitable for inclusion in TSAT, send us the URL!