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Shall We Dance?
by The Phantom Websurfer
©2004 Bard and Cubist -- all rights reserved

Music is a vitally important part of some shapeshifting traditions; for example, any of numerous flavors of Native American shamanism. As well, nobody would be foolish enough to deny music's utility in the context of mental transformations, enticing its listeners to change their opinions, their emotions, and, ultimately, their very minds. However, in this issue, we throw the spotlight on websites for which the music is not the vehicle of the transformation, but, rather, its object...

Cue the Trojans!

To most people, the Iliad is one of those boring, dust-encrusted 'classics' that their English teacher went on about in high school; maybe they read it, but only for the grade, and they promptly forgot everything they read after they handed in their paper or final exam. Which is rather a pity, because the Iliad has more sex and violence in it than any three summer blockbuster movies -- and while the absence of stuff like hand grenades and nuclear warheads does make it a tad short of explosions, there's enough divine intervention (from the likes of Zeus, Athena, etc) to justify the kind of special effects budget George Lucas would think twice... maybe even three times... before approving.

Again: Most people think the Iliad is stoopid and boring. And then there are those like your high school English teacher, who really dig it... and there are folks like 'Archon' and 'Ephor', who positively adore the Iliad -- and everything else Homer's byline ever got slapped on. They love it like hardcore Trekkies love TOS, like bored housewives love Days of Our Nights, like basement-dwelling fanboys love superheroes, like...

...well, anyway. Archon and Ephor love the Iliad. And they think you should love it, too!

Surf on over and tap your toes to Iliad: The Musical!

It's time to put on make-up...

The late (and much-lamented) Muppet Show was built around the conceit that those cute little plush guys were a perpetually strapped-for-cash theatre group. This premise offers fertile grounds for any number of story arcs, but it must be admitted that Jim Henson scrupulously avoided quite a number of possible plotlines. For example, it is not at all uncommon to see low-budget performers 'sex up' their acts, so as to attract as many paying customers as possible... but the Muppets never strayed beyond a 'G' rating.

Which begs the question: What if they did?

A fellow named Tom Smith, notorious for singing at science fiction conventions, knows the answer. And he wrote a whole script about it, in which the desperate Muppets decide to put on a production of the Rocky Horror Picture Show -- complete with the usual assortment of theatrical catastrophes we've come to expect from the Muppets. For instance, they lost all the RHPS sheet music, and had to make do with whatever was available. Ever heard Eddie's song -- "Hot patootie, bless my soul / I really love that rock and roll" -- sung to the tune of Beethoven's Ode to Joy? You will...

We are not making this up. It's all there in the Rocky Horror Muppet Show!

If you know of any sites whose subject matter renders them suitable for inclusion in TSAT, send us the URL!

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