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For Your Very Soul
by The Phantom Websurfer
©2004 Bard and Cubist -- all rights reserved

The winter solstice is traditionally the time of year when mortals give thanks to ancient deities for not destroying the world -- and they don't come any ancient-er than Great Cthulhu. Of course, Cthulhu's forbearance isn't exactly voluntary; as soon as this Elder God's wake-up call goes through, we are all toast. In the meantime, why not make fun of the poor sap? After all, it's not like ol' Tentacle-Face didn't already intend to rend your body, eat your soul, and generally inflict an insanely torturous fate on you... right?

To sing, or not to sing?

As TSAT's faithful readers are doubtless aware, there are plenty of Cthulhoid filksongs in the world. But what you might not have known is that some of these tunes are distorted versions of Christmas carols! Case in point: Carol of the Old Ones, which was adapted from the well-known Carol of the Bells, four-part harmony and all. The Cthulhoid version is available for download in two forms: as a PDF of the sheet music, and/or an MP3 of a tolerably decent vocal performance.

Surf on over to the Cthulhu Lives website -- and don't blame us if you have... disturbing... dreams.

Kill it before it multiplies

We all know that the vast majority of media intended for children (movies, TV shows, etc) are liberally festooned with diabetes-inducing levels of hypersaccharine cutesy-pie-ness. In many cases, the creators of these... things... didn't intend to produce something capable of devouring the mind and shriveling the soul (that was just a beneficial side-effect). Many... but not all.

Case in point: Hello Cthulhu, a webcomic which thrusts Great Cthulhu himself straight into the 'world' (you should pardon the expression) of Hello Kitty. And when Cthulhu met the Sanrio Company's minimalist Licensable Property™, not only did she (?) fail to dissolve into a festering, inchoate, fœtid puddle of pustulent ichor, but she tied bright, cheerful-colored ribbons to the tentacles on his face!

As you value your soul, do not browse the Hello Cthulhu website. You have been warned.

If you know of any sites whose subject matter renders them suitable for inclusion in TSAT, send us the URL!

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