Skin Deep, chapter 3 -- Sleeping Arrangements

Now that I was back in my own room, I began to feel a bit more like my old self. The pain from cushioning my fall against the brick wall with my tits was wearing off and I was able to breathe freely.

Of course, the sun was preparing to make an appearance, but both windows faced north and would not allow direct sunlight into the room. I had been able to sleep many afternoons straight through because of this feature. It had also caused me great distress on several occasions to discover I had slept through a test, but this morning I welcomed it.

Gary was staking out a place on the floor. The buzz I had gotten from the Vodka Kit had given me had been driven out of me by the impact against the wall, but it must have helped with the pain. Now, the alcohol was pushing its way out of my body. At least this time I had access to a toilet. It was the first real convenience that had been offered this body since this whole nightmare started. "I'll be right back Gary," I called as I got out of bed and started for the bathroom. As I did, I caught just a glimpse of my new self in the mirror at the end of the room. I stopped to look, ignoring the mounting pressure in my bladder.

Wow, I remembered thinking, she really is gorgeous. Now, I was speaking from a man's perspective. That is all I knew and it seemed appropriate at the time. I understand now I was being very superficial, but that's what first attracts a man to a woman.

My hair was not brown, as I had first thought, but dark auburn. It reflected light as though it was made of glass. My skin appeared to be lightly tanned. I could see more of myself here in the light than I had been able to in the dark of the warehouse. My hips were wide and my rear end was full, very full and round, but nicely shaped. My tummy was flat and tight. My breasts were a little bigger than they appeared from above. I was a fucking knockout.

I felt a pang of sadness. This was the girl of my dreams. Hell, she was the girl of every man's dreams. The people that had designed her genetic make up had obviously known this. Who knew what this skin had been intended for? Someone whose looks hadn't quite afforded the kind of opportunities others had perhaps? The opportunity would have been worth anything to someone like that. Now a technology had come around to give back to her what nature had cheated her out of and I had stolen that person's chance at a normal life.

I looked away from the mirror, Michelle was going to die before she even got a chance to live and I was the one destined to kill her. The idea made me sick. I suddenly just wanted this to be over, but for a very different reason.

Sighing, I went into the bathroom to relieve myself. Once the toilet was out of the wall I lifted the front of my skirt and began searching for my penis. When my hand encountered only the flat tummy of a female I remembered, with a painful twinge, what I had to do. Sliding my panties down, I turned and sat.

Back out in my room, Gary was asleep on the floor. That surprised me. Frankly, I didn't think either of us would be able to sleep and I was looking forward to talking for just a little while, so I reached down and nudged him to see just how asleep he really was.

"Gary?"

Poke. Poke.

I whispered again, "Gary, you asleep?"

Nothing. With a sigh I began undressing, keeping on my underwear and laying my skirt and sweater on top of my dresser.

I felt uncomfortable in my undergarments. Having Gary in my room didn't help even asleep as he was. I felt exposed, so I went to closet, which was not much more that indentation in the wall, and retrieved a robe.

It felt good to be completely covered. The robe was warm and soft with age. I yawned deeply, an encouraging sign, as I made my way over to my small single bed. I wasn't sure sleep would come, but I was going to try. I reasoned that the more I slept while trapped in this body, the less time I would have to spend getting used to it. The closer I could get to Sunday night without having to actually be her.

Lying down on my bed, my robe still tied securely around my waist, I tried several positions before finding that sleeping on my side was probably going to work best for me. With the sudden addition of breasts came the unexpected problem of finding a way to lie down without being overly sensitive to their presence. I simply didn't have the luxury of getting used to them as they grew; mine were just suddenly there. Not to mention, I had squashed them at high speed against a brick wall not an hour earlier and they were still tender.

I could see it was getting light outside; the new day had begun. With it, six new people had taken their place in the world; one most unwillingly, but like it or not, she was here and that was just the way it was.

Looking down, I saw that Gary was sleeping uncovered except for his clothes. He was using a pillow from my armchair to rest his head on. I reached to the foot of my bed for a blanket that was folded up there and draped it over him.

*Getting back in bed, I pulled my own blankets up to my chin and tried to relax. I couldn't help taking one brief exploration of my new body, tracing an open hand over my chest, following the contours of my breasts that lay under the fabric of my bra. I moved my hand slowly down my stomach to my hips and then down the side of one tapered leg. It was amazing how smooth and soft my skin had become. Finally, I brought my hand back up the front of my leg and across my pubic area, over the silky smoothness of my panties.

There was nothing sexual about this exploration. In fact, it had the opposite effect on me. I was not happy about my helpless position and the fact that the genitalia that I had grown up with were gone scared me. What was worse was the realization that I had been replaced. Not just parts of me but ME. A female form had consumed me and I was now being forced to continue my life as her. You can't spend twenty years growing used to and becoming comfortable with one body and one way of thinking, only to find that you are what you have had sexual desires for, and just come to grips with that fact. I liked being a guy very much, I hadn't understood just how much until that night, and I wanted all that back. I enjoyed being the proud home of a Y chromosome.

Sleep came for me while I was feeling sorry for myself. I don't know how long I slept before my next waking memory, but while sleep enveloped me, I dreamed.

I was back home, in my parent's home, and there was music coming from one of the bedrooms. I knew the song. It was one of the ones we had recorded just two weeks ago, but in an arrangement that I thought I recognized from a long time ago.

I made my way down the hall in the hazy, foggy way of most dreams. There was sheet music on the walls where the pictures of my family had once been. The hall itself seemed much longer and the ceiling stretched out of sight at the end. Clouds drifted across the hall from the open door on its egress.

The music was growing louder and it was coming from what had once been Erin's bedroom. Standing in front of her door and listening, I could hear Erin's strained voice coming from behind the door.

My heart raced. Could she actually be in there? I was full of anticipation. I reached down to turn the doorknob and open the door, wondering briefly if I should knock first when the door dissolved at my touch.

Inside was Erin's room as I remembered it before her death, except there was no floor. The furniture seemed to float, stable and motionless in the air. On the bed, bent over her guitar was Erin, working out some new chord combination.

"Hey, baby brother, come on in, and let's jam some," she said without looking up. She continued to work the strings of her guitar as I approached.

"Erin? Is that you?"

She looked up puzzled. "Who did you expect to find in my room, Mikey?"

I broke into a run. As I blundered toward her, she set down her guitar and stood to receive me. We fell into each other's arms and hugged tightly for what seemed to be hours. I remember I cried hard but couldn't speak. Each time I thought of letting go I would squeeze her tighter.

Finally, we broke our embrace and I stood before her sobbing, happy to be in her presence once again; not questioning why, but just grateful that I was being given this chance. I wondered briefly if I had somehow died but could not remember anything from my life after to Erin's death. I felt that something was there, something I needed to remember desperately; but it was gone. How important could it have been? I had my sister back!

"How have you been Mikey?" she asked.

"I missed you," was all I could come up with.

"I know. I missed you too. Listen, I don't have much time."

"What? You're not leaving me again, are you?" She didn't answer, just plodded on with what she wanted to say.

"Gary is in deep trouble Mike. It's your job to help him." She looked very concerned, which I thought was very funny. Erin had never liked Gary.

"You mean the Twerp, don't you?"

She didn't respond to my words. "I have something for you. You have to take it and use it to the best of your abilities; if you don't Gary will not survive the year."

"What the hell are you talking about?" but she wasn't listening. She had walked to her closet and pulled out some clothes. When she turned around, she was holding an outfit that she had worn all the time. It was a short dress with a flower pattern. It had a tight waist cincher attached to and a false bow in the back.

"It's my favorite. It always made me feel very feminine. I want you to take it. It might help you over the hump." She was holding it out for me to take. Suddenly I didn't want to be there anymore.

"Erin, what do you think I can do with that?"

"Put it on," she answered.

"You're crazy, Erin. Those are your clothes. I'm a guy. I can't wear that."

"Put it on, Mike," she said again and this time walked toward me, the outfit still in her outstretched hands.

"Erin, get away from me," I demanded. I was getting scared and I turned to lunge through the door that I had come in through -- and smashed head first into it. It has somehow rematerialized while I had my back to it. There was pain in this dream, and blood. I could feel it dribbling down my forehead. Do people bleed in dreams?

I turned to see how much closer Erin had gotten. When I did, I heard her shout "Catch!" and I held out my hand instinctively to do just that. She tossed the dress at me, but it enveloped me. Before I could do anything about it, I was wearing her dress.

Screaming, I grabbed the front of the dress and tried to rip it off, but it stubbornly stayed intact. "What the hell? Erin, get this thing off me." It was then I noticed that the bust line had filled in rather nicely. "Oh God! What's happened to me?"

I continued to struggle with the outfit while Erin said nothing. She just stood there looking somewhat saddened by the whole thing.

Remembering that this dress had a zipper in the back, my hands went to undo it, but the zipper was gone. Then, I reached down and grabbed the hem of the dress. I was intent on pulling over my head the way you might a shirt, but there was a panty attached to the waist of the dress. It was all one piece with no opening. I couldn't get it off.

"Why Erin? Why did you do this to me?" I asked, and as I did, I looked in the mirror that was attached to her closet door. She had left it open after retrieving the dress from hell, so I could now see my reflection. At least I thought it was mine. There was Erin in the mirror and there was the reflection of a cute eighteen to twenty-year old girl wearing Erin's dress. I thought I should know who she was but couldn't quite place the face. My voice was just as it had been when I arrived in this hellish place. When I spoke, I could see the lips of the girl in mirror move in perfect unison, but the voice I heard was my own, masculine voice.

"Is that me?" I asked. I was scared and shaking.

"You have to help Gary, baby sister. There is no other way. If you shed this mantel I have given you, you will not be able to help him."

"I'm not your baby sister," I shouted at her. "You get this damned dress off of me, now!"

"I can't do that. It's yours now. Only you can make that choice."

"How then? Tell me how because it won't come off." I started struggling with the dress again.

"You'll know how when the time comes, but I think it would be a mistake to do so. Until then let this present to you be a comfort."

"NOOOOO!" I shouted. With that, I found myself outside Erin's room. I was still stuck in her clothes and I assume in that body I had seen in the mirror because my bust still filled in the cups of the dress quite nicely.

I pounded on the door and screamed to be let back in; for her to take this dress off me, but the only response I got was the strains of her guitar. As I screamed, I could hear my voice change to one that was clearly feminine. This sent fresh waves of terror washing over me and I got the idea that soon I would just pass out from fright -- but it didn't happen, though I believe it would have been a blessing at that point.

When it became clear that Erin was not going to let me back in I stood back from the door and ran my hands over the dress I was trapped in. I noticed that my bust was not the only thing that had changed. My penis was gone. I could feel the flat tummy of woman beneath dress and attached panty of the outfit. How the hell was this supposed to help Gary?

As I asked myself that question, the scene around me began to break up and I was left alone, dressed in Erin's clothes, in a dark void. The only sound was Erin's distant guitar echoing through the darkness.

By the time I woke, the dream was already fragmenting and becoming incoherent, as dreams often do upon waking. It wasn't until the last time I dreamed of her that I remembered the others completely.

I was vaguely aware at some point that two people were speaking behind me. The episode of the previous few hours was temporarily forgotten. For now, I was Mike Vello again, if only in my own sleepy recollection. One voice was very familiar, Sandy from the Dark Spot, a club where the band sometimes played.

"I didn't think women were allowed in the building." Who had said that, I wondered?

"The security guard knows me. Mike and I sometimes date," she was saying and I remembered thinking "Date?" What I remembered was more of a sparring match.

I had seen Sandy for a couple of months but found she was way too committed to commitment. She had started talking about traveling together and spending the holidays with her folks at their place in Vermont. "It would be like a real family Christmas, don't you think?" I got scared and pulled the plug on the patient. Our relationship died a peaceful death in its sleep, but she still came around to check up on me when she didn't have anything else to do. Gary called her the Klingon.

That other voice, the one I couldn't quite place, was saying I was sick, the flu or something. He also told her that he was a friend. He'd come over to help get me well.

I thought to myself, there's nothing wrong with me, but that didn't seem quite right either, did it? I was sore in my chest and I had a headache too. Maybe the voice was right. I sure was tired.

"No, no, you can't come in right now, he's resting, see?" said the voice.

"But I want to see if he's ok. I'll just look and then go," Sandy was saying, but the other voice was insistent.

"Look, you'll get it yourself, I'm already coming down with it too -- and I just got here last night." Then, seemingly to prove his point, he sneezed. "Ahhhhh... chooooo!"

"Eeeewwwweeuuuu!" Sandy squealed. "That's just gross! No, don't touch me. I'll clean it myself. You're just nasty, you know that?"

"I'm... I'm sorry. Oh, don't do that. Well see, now that's clearly gonna leave a stain. You shouldn't rub it in like that.

"Ohhh! Yuck! Look, just have Mike call me when he's feeling better. My name is Sandy and he's got my vid number. I said don't touch me!" Then, footsteps stomped off down the hall.

"I'm sorry," I heard the voice shout down the hall. "I'm sure a dry cleaners will be able to get that stain out!"

I heard the door close and lock. "Why lock the door?" I thought, but I was too tired to ask the question aloud. Sleep came for me again with the absence of any further noise.

When I woke up the second time, I came to slowly, lying with my eyes half open, looking into my small room. I saw a pair of legs walking back and forth from my efficiency kitchen to my cupboard. I could hear the sound of glasses and plates clinking. I could smell food cooking. It smelled wonderful and made my stomach growl.

I reached down to scratch my testicles. Well, that's funny, that kinda feels like... "Holy shit!" I screamed, threw the covers off and ripped off my robe. I was wearing girl's underwear -- and I could see why too. It fit me in ways they shouldn't be fitting. I grabbed again, where my penis should have been. Gone! I looked down and pulled the underwear away from my skin. It was tricky to see around the breasts but it was gone!

"Tits! Dear sweet Christ, I'm wearing a pair of fucking tits!" I was nearly out of control, preparing to run out into the hall of the dorm. It was the only thing I could think to do; I had to get help.

Suddenly, there were hands on my shoulders, trying to spin me around.

"Ahhhhggggg!" There was a stranger in my room. "Don't hurt me, please. What did you do to me? Please, make it go awaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy," I pleaded with the stranger.

"Mike!"

"How did you..?" I blinked in a mind-clearing moment of recognition. Oh yeah, now I remember "Gary?"

"Yeah. Shit man, you scared the piss out of me. I thought you'd flipped out."

Last night began to filter back. I told you, you just don't get used to something like this all at once. My heart was still thudding hard in my chest and the adrenaline that had been dumped into my system had brought me to my full senses.

"Wow, that was bad. I just don't think I'm gonna get used to this, guy." I was better, but I had been badly shaken. It was like having your nightmare follow you up and out of sleep. I was trembling badly.

"Food will help, it always helps me! I've made breakfast, well sort of. There wasn't much here to work with. Still, I managed to put together a respectable spread. Hope you're hungry."

As the confusion of the moment cleared, I discovered that I was hungry. In fact, I couldn't remember when I had last eaten. I started to follow Gary in to the kitchen when I became aware that I was traipsing around in just a bra and panties. I had somehow lost my robe in the panic.

I went back for my robe and returned; still threading my arms through the armholes, then tied the belt in place. The robe was huge on me; the hem trailed just trailed the ground, where before it had come down to only mid calf on me.

"I was kind of hoping you'd leave that off for breakfast." He sounded a little disappointed. "I thought the view from up here was just great."

"Ha! Ha! Ogling your best friend in her underwear isn't very friendly or nice." Gary and I both noticed it at the same time. I had referred to myself as her. Thinking back, I vaguely remembered that happening last night once or twice also.

Gary dismissed it or at least he seemed to. "Oh well, I guess I can get over it in the interest of strengthening the bonds between men and women everywhere. You seem to have slept well."

"I guess. It seems there was something but... I can't remember. You'd think that I would have been a prime candidate for at least one juicy nightmare, yet I must have slept like a babe... ah... er... a baby, slept like a baby."

"Good," he said, but it seemed he had something else to add.

"Well, you're not finished are you? Spit it out."

"I think we may have trouble." His words made me feel a little sick to my stomach. I was wearing trouble and I struggled with the idea that things could possibly be getting worse, unless he had discovered that this was somehow permanent. That's all I could think Gary's news could have been.

"Oh God, Rod broke the patch code transmitter," I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. "He's done something because he's pissed about last night."

"No, that's not it, relax. The Klingon stopped by. She wanted to see you."

"Sandy?"

"Yeah, didn't you hear us?"

"Yeah, I guess I did, but just for a moment. Guess it's a good thing I didn't get up or something with her at the door. That could have been a little hard to explain, Huh?"

"I didn't think we would come so close to getting caught so soon, but we're running into all kinds of trouble along the way. I think I should leave, Mike!"

Now that scared me. "Leave? Why the hell do you want to leave? I can't do this alone, Gary. Hell, I can't go anywhere. If I do, I won't be able to get back into the building. I don't want to be alone like this. Please... don't leave."

"I don't know..."

I began to get the impression he wanted me to beg. "Please Gary. I'm begging you. Why? Just -- just tell me that." Ok, I wasn't above a little begging now and then.

"I don't think it's a good idea that any of us be seen together. I don't know why just yet, but I get a sense that it would be better if all of us stayed away from each other until tomorrow night."

"Shit," I muttered under my breath. "Oh God, not alone. Don't make me do this alone." I thought my idea about the transmitter had been terrifying, but now I thought I was just going to puke at this juicy morsel.

"Aw, come on Mike don't cry. Christ, I hate it when you cry."

"Good!" I flashed angrily at him. "I'll stop if you'll say you won't make me do this alone. This isn't fair, Gary. You've got me at a time when I'm all screwed up in the head. I can't think about anything else except 8:30 tomorrow and then you spring this shit on me."

"Maaaannnn," Gary moaned and rubbed his face with his hand. "This is not good. I shouldn't be here. People that know you will keep coming to the door. Eventually, they'll figure out that Mike isn't here and then I'm busted." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was talking about saving his ass and leaving mine out to dry.

"So I'm supposed to wait it out while people knock on my door? Gary, I'm not supposed to be in this building. I hate to state the obvious but this is a male dorm. I don't exactly meet that criterion any more. Are you suggesting that I ignore the door and vid and pretend that no one's at home. What happens if I'm walking in front of the vid when it goes off? It will sense the motion and turn on. What if the police decide they need to find out why I'm missing? Then I'm busted. If the police take me in, how will I get out of this mess?"

"That's gonna happen whether I'm here or not. You're going to have to come up with a better argument than that Mikey."

I gaped at him slack-jawed. Something better? I couldn't figure out what or why he was doing this to me. Was fear his primary motivator? If it was, I felt certain I could teach him a thing about fear and abject terror. I was becoming desperate. I couldn't seem to think straight, then Gary interrupted my futile attempts to "come up with something better."

"Mike, thoughts have been going through my head. Watching you sleep while I was cooking, well -- I just don't like what I'm feeling man."

"Thoughts?" I sniffled. "Like what kind of thoughts?" I wasn't quite sure what he was getting on about.

"You're going to make me say it out loud?" Gary asked as if I already knew what the point he was trying to get to was.

"Well what can I do if you don't tell me?" I stopped dead with my mouth propped open. "Oh no," I whispered.

"Oh Yeah," he answered.

"Oh no!" I shouted back, "You just have to get those thoughts out of your head. Right now. Besides that's... that's gross!"

"I know. I know it is. That's what I've been telling myself. But you're so beautiful."

"Don't say that." I was really surprised by that. I started shaking.

"But you are."

"No, I'm not."

"You are!"

"No, God damn it, I'm not!" I shouted and slammed my open hand down on the table. "Now you just stop that."

He just stared at me with that "yeah, right" expression and I could clearly see Gary through that Indian face for the first time since we had all put these damn things on.

"Ok, none of that matters. You can't just run out on me. I need you."

"Listen to yourself, and if you don't mind would you please let go of my hand, Mike?"

I looked down at the table and sho-nuff, oh God, I'm holding his hand. How in the hell had that happened? "Sorry... sorry about that. Crap! I didn't know I had done that."

"You see why I have to go, something bad will happen. And I'm not just talking about s-s-s-sex." He whispered the word to me, as if to say it aloud we might both burst into flames.

"Don't you understand everything that's going on here? Mike Vello is already missed. I don't know if any of the others are missed yet or not, but if they are, then someone will put together that I'm probably involved. After that, it's only a matter of time before they put it together with you. If I can stall that process, you have a better chance of getting out of this without being caught. Being with me just puts you at greater risk, don't you see that?"

I suddenly felt bad about thinking bad about Gary. I was surprised to find out that he was his concern was for my safety, not his, not that of the other guys. It made me feel a bit uneasy.

"Ok, what the hell should I do? I shouldn't be seen around here either. Forget the part about being seen together for a moment, If I'm seen in Mike's... my room like this, and Mike's gone, isn't that going to fuel the fires of suspicion too?

He seemed to be thinking about that. It was good to see him think. It was truly a rare and beautiful moment. I was hoping that perhaps I had come up with that "something better."

The light seemed to come on inside his eyes. "How the hell did the Klingon get in the building, Huh?" Then, he sat back looking very proud of himself.

"Sandy can be very... persistent. She will sit there and argue with you until she wears you down and you give in. She's done it with security before. Now the guard just let's her come down and knock on my door as long as she stays in the hall where he can see her. It's a good thing she didn't get past you in more ways than one. The guard would have been down here in a flash and the whole thing would have been up."

That seemed to deepen his concentration some. His brow furrowed and his face darkened. I started eating my breakfast while I waited for an answer.

I was a lousy cook. Gary, on the hand, was a genius at it. When I was hungry, I usually ate a box of crackers with peanut butter or opened a can of something red, but Gary could cook truly elegant meals. I always felt that if he ever settled down enough to concentrate on what he wanted for the long-term he would make a truly first class chef. I knew that he resisted job offers from his Dad at the Red Fish, the restaurant his family owned, but it seemed that he and his Dad, who was head chief had a lot in common.

He had made poached eggs on some kind of soft warm bread. It was covered with a yellow sauce that had long, narrow green leaves in it, a spice of some kind. It was strong too. I could taste it when I bit into a leaf here and there.

There were also a small portion of potatoes with bits of green peppers and little red things. These were covered with some kind of melted cheese. I guess Gary had stopped thinking and has started watching me again because he spoke up.

"You ah... you like that, do ya?

"Mumph," I said around a mouth full of potatoes. Gary grinned.

"Did you try the napkin dumplings?" he asked.

"Ummm, Dumplings," I replied. I didn't even know I had this stuff in my kitchen.

"Ok, Mike. I'll stay."

I looked up at him and grinned with food still in my mouth.

"Aw gross. Ok, maybe you're not that beautiful after all. Just keep eating Ok. I'll talk!"

I snickered and went back to my meal.

"I'll stay, but you have to stay out of sight and when the cops come, and I think they will now, we'll just have to make a fast retreat. Sandy thinks you're sick, but when you don't call, she'll come back -- maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow. I don't know. Hopefully, it will be tomorrow. That way we'll have only a few more hours to stall before we can get these things off. I guess well have to stay as long as we can and leave before we start feeling squirrelly.

"Why do you think Sandy is going to alert the police?"

"She's expecting a call from you when you wake up. You can't really do that can you? I mean your voice and all. Who the hell would believe you were Mike."

"Right, They'd know we were using skins!"

"No they'd think we were involved in Mike's disappearance, or worse yet Mike's murder."

I stopped eating. I hadn't thought it out that far. I could feel the blood run from my face.

"It gets worse. They pick us up and put us in jail. We can't get to the patch code transmitter to get out of these bodies. Mike never shows up. Mike is in jail as you. Do you think Rod is going to sacrifice himself to save us? I'll tell you what he'll do. He'll get himself and Frank and Kit and Kit out of their skins. We'll be too far away from the transmitter for it to work on us, and the transmitters only work once. That's it. After that we stay like this, forever -- and we stand trial for not only Mike's disappearance but Gary's as well, because they will never show up alive again. Even if we fess up that we, you and I, are Mike and Gary we still go to jail. We still stay in these bodies. Different charges, same result. Sound right to you?"

Gary was a much better thinker that I would ever have suspected. Suddenly, I wasn't very hungry. I was also very aware that we had never set a time and place to meet to get these things off.

"Gary, how's Rod gonna find us when it's time?"

"We talked about that before you made your appearance as Madame Butterfly last night at the warehouse. We are going to meet back there tomorrow night just after 8:30 P.M. I mentioned the time, but I guess I forgot to mention the location in all the excitement. Sorry."

Gary stared eating.

"So you're saying that, until then, we just hope for the best?"

"No, we can do things to help the situation. We won't know exactly what all of those things are until the picture develops a bit more. We may not have to do anything. Who knows, maybe the Klingon just might forget it." I was not too optimistic about that and I suddenly found myself wishing I had been more assertive with her.

"You know, you could always just jiggle her your tits at her and hope she gets the message that it just wouldn't work out between the two of you," he laughed.

"That's not very damn funny Gary," I insisted, but that just made Gary laugh harder.